Updates...

Sorry the posts haven't been as regular this week. There's something big in the works, though, and you'll probably know by Thanksgiving.

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Entourage Quotes: Season 5, Episode 11

"I got nowhere to go, Jaime. In fact, I'll move in if you want me to!"
-Turtle, to Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Turtle: You wanna hide me, consider me hidden!
Jamie: Seriously, I eat here all the time.
Turtle: Really?
Waitress: Hi Jamie baby, how you doin'?
Jamie: Really.

Turtle: Why'd you call last night?
Jamie: My therapist says I'm attracted to losers.
Turtle: Lucky me!

E: That's quite an entrance, Ari.
Ari: It's nothing compared to what I'm gonna do to this kraut director!
Drama: It's either you or me, and if it's me, I'm goin in blazing!

Ari: Relax, it's all gonna be alright.
Vince: Why?
Ari: Because the Jew has arrived, and he doesn't like Germans!

Werner: This is a movie about human beings, with layers! It's not a movie about some swimming superhero.
Ari: Well I don't care if it's about a dancing cucumber!

Werner: Are you threatening me?
Ari: If you consider me telling you that you'll be lucky to get a "der wienerschnitzel" commercial if you don't go back to work, then yeah, it's a f-cking threat!
Werner: I don't respond to threats, Mr. Gold! This conversation is over!
Ari: Nothing is over! When I'm done with you, it'll make the battle of Normandy look like a game of f-cking paintball!

Dana: You know, two days at our theme park in Sydney is quite a stress reliever!
Ari: Well, imagine three kids just fell off a roller coaster, and tense up!

"Hot girls driving limos...I like that! Call it 'Lim-hos!'"
-Turtle

Ari: Dana owes me.
E: You really think she would let you replace the director?
Ari: After what I did for her, she would let us double-penetrate her if we wanted to!

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The Office Quotes: Season 5, Episode 7

Another good episode. Not enough of Dwight in this episode, though it was nice to see more of Oscar. Here are the quotes (sorry they're out a bit late):

"In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite."
-Michael

"I have always been intrigued by all things international: the women, the pancakes, The Man of Mystery."
-Michael

Michael: Meredith, I would like you to pretend that you are from Abu Dhabi
Meredith: Hello!
Michael: I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket.
(Michael puts his jacket over Meredith's head)
Michael: You are now sexy in your culture.

"Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two directions. What! Are there two suns? Last I checked that's not an office building in the Andromeda galaxy. It's totally unrealistic! There's no lines in the parking lot."
-Dwight, about Pam's art

"A concierge is the Winnipeg-equivalent of a Geisha."
-Michael

Oscar: I'm probably gonna leave after one drink.
Andy: With a hot slab of Canadian bacon in your hand!

Oscar: What's first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead.

"Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not the paycheck, because I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete."
-Michael

(Pam is kissing Jim)
Dwight: You're back!
(Pam breaks off her kiss with Jim)
Pam: Yeah.
Dwight: Good. I need you to make five copies of these!

Oscar: I can't believe we called her up!
Andy: Totally. Wait, who?
Oscar: I'm talking about Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night!
Andy: We called Angela?
Oscar: You called her!
Andy: That was real? I thought I dreamt that! Oh God!

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Introducing: The Best Mock Draft Database on the Internet

For the past two days, we've been working feverishly on the first annual NFHell Mock Draft Database. This is a compilation of what player and pick mock drafts are projecting to each team in the league. People have done this for individual teams (like NEPatriotsDraft for the Pats or HailRedskins for the 'Skins), but no one has done it for every team...UNTIL NOW!!! Check back often to see who mock drafts from around the Internet have your team picking.



Check it out here.

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Week 11 Picks

Sorry to skip out on you guys two weeks in a row, but NO PREVIEW AGAIN!!!

It's not 'cause I'm lazy, though. I'm working on something BIG that will be TEN TIMES BETTER than a preview when I'm done, probably by tonight or tomorrow. I'm sure all twelve of you are on pins and needles. On to the picks:

Patriots over Jets - Cassel has put together his two best performances in his last two games, and look for the improvement to continue. Also, the Jets have not faced a defense the caliber of the Pats' D during their winning streak.

Falcons over Broncos - The Broncos are a desperate team right now, but even that is not enough to overcome the Falcons' rushing attack. I predict Michael Turner goes crazy against the soft Broncos line.

Panthers over Lions - Julius Peppers has his second consecutive multi-sack game, and the winless watch continues.

Eagles over Bengals - The Bengals suck.

Packers over Bears - The Packers are at home, and just need this one more. That's the deciding factor in this close game.

Colts over Texans - The Colts may be "back", but this win will be harder than expected. Andre Johnson returns to his 100-ypg ways.

Saints over Chiefs - Clinging on to hope for a wild-card berth, the Saints put together a complete game.

Dolphins over Raiders - The Fins don't even need to use the Wildcat to beat the Raiders.

Ravens over Giants - New York has not fared well against AFC North teams this season, going 2-1 and struggling against the Bengals.

Buccaneers over Vikings - Tampa Bay almost stumbled at KC last week, and will know not to underestimate any opponent. They cruise to victory, fully hyped up and prepared.

Rams over 49ers - The Rams looked good for a 3 game stretch before returning back to earth against the Jets. They still have talent, though, something that can't as easily be said for their opponents this week.

Cardinals over Seahawks - At this point, Mike Holmgren's just counting down the days until sweet, blissful retirement in December.

Jaguars over Titans - The Jags have not looked sharp, losing to previously winless Cincinnati and allowing also winless Detroit to hang around for a little bit. However, there is a shred of playoff hope for the Jags, while the Titans have a three game lead for the AFC lead.

Steelers over Chargers - Both teams are fighting for leads in their respective divisions, but the Steelers are just the better team playing at home.

Cowboys over Redskins - Dallas pulls together for once in preparation for a playoff push.

Bills over Browns - The Bills are down, but not out. The Browns, well, they're just out.

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The Ultimate Power Rankings: Week 11

I went around to five major mainstream media sports websites, and compiled their NFL week 11 power rankings to create the ultimate power rankings. This list will be updated weekly, and anytime there is a change to these sites' rankings. Check it out here. Or just click the logo. Or the link below the logo.



Check out the full rankings here.

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The Top 5 Potential Super Bowl Matchups

With nine games in the books, the playoff picture is becoming clearer each week. We finally know who's for real, and I'm guessing we could call 10 of the 12 playoff teams right now. Given that, here's the top 5 potential matchups we could see at this point:

Nowhere near the top five: Baltimore Ravens vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This matchup would guarantee that one of these teams will have won the Super Bowl twice in this decade, and no one...will...care. Adding to the lack of intrigue is the fact that the final score will probably be 7-4 or something. At least there are some goofy prop bets to look forward to or something. Now on to the real top five:

5. Miami Dolphins vs. Carolina Panthers
The Dolphins are a longshot for the Super Bowl right now, but they slowly transition to the "Wildcat II: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" offense, which involves lineman Jake Long lining up at receiver, receiver Ted Ginn lining up at lineman, and offensive coordinator Dan Henning lining up at long snapper. Referees are so confused that the Dolphins are somehow awarded between 8 and 67 points each time they score, propelling them to the big game against the Panthers. Meanwhile, Sports Illustrated celebrates yet another job well done, with their 2006 Super Bowl Prediction finally coming to fruition.



4. Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Chicago Bears
The halftime show with Bruce Springsteen brings back memories of an era long past. The announcers panel of Michaels 'n' Madden brings back memories of an era long past when Madden actually used to be competent in the booth. One storied franchise, the Bears, has dreams of finishing what they couldn't two years ago. Steelers fans are stoked for their equally storied franchise's record sixth Super Bowl, and propel their team to the game with cries of "one for the mutant sixth finger!" The game is moved off NBC and instead simulcast on ESPN Classic and the History channel.

3. Indianapolis Colts vs. New York Giants
The Colts somehow pull it all together to return to the Super Bowl and face the Giants, leaving the media dumfounded at how they should spin this matchup. With no readily available storylines to play up, we're left with a pretty ordinary game. Media day has a record-low turnout as no one really wants to hear about the dynamic number one receivers of both teams or the injuries the Colts had to overcome to get this far. In the end the media focuses on dissecting how a physical runner like Brandon Jacobs will match up with the Colts' troublesome run defense.



2. Arizona Cardinals vs. Tennessee Titans
Kurt Warner caps off an MVP year with a flawless dissection of the favored Titans. Tim Hightower (who?) turns it on against a normally stout Tennessee run defense. Adrian Wilson picks off Kerry Collins twice. The Cardinals score a major upset to cap off one of the most upside-down seasons in recent memory. America is captivated by this football feel-good story in the post-game celebration for all of three minutes, after which Satan rises up from below and the apocalypse begins.

1. New England Patriots vs. New York Giants
Come on, tell me you didn't see this coming at number one? In a strange twist of irony, the underdog Patriots ride a magical playoff run to take on the heavy favorite Giants. Little-known Patriots fifth receiver Sam Aiken makes an insane on-the-helmet grab, while Giants SS James Butler looks on in disbelief. Aiken tries to milk his new-found fame in the offseason with a book deal. Matt Cassel gets the permanent starting job and the requisite supermodel girlfriend. Tom Brady gets traded in the offseason for a bag of Cheetos and half of a cardboard box, to which an incredulous Brady replies, "What the hell are you people gonna do with half a box?"

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